nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
