Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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