He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
