it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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