i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
