4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
