Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
