Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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