My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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