shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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