ya dads aren't the best wingmen
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
