I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
