I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
