Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm like, not good at living.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
