How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
