i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
