I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
