I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
