He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
