I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
