true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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