how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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