Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
