Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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