also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
