i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
