Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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