Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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