I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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