I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
