windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
