she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
