Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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