i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Enjoy the penises
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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