i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
