why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
