Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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