I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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