She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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