Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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