he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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