You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
