Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
