Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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