Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
