New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
