Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
soo... how was my night?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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