it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
