I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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