I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
