You can't motorboat a personality
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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