K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
