I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
